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10 Things I Learned as a Parent This Christmas

1.BEWARE OF FANCY NEW BUBBLE BATH. It looks lovely on the surface but can mask an underwater shite until it's far too late.

2.Your child’s nap time is perfect for postmen to loudly knock on your door with parcels for the entire street.

3.The best thing about having kids is that even a day of cleaning, furniture building and trips to the tip WITHOUT THEM feels like a two week all inclusive holiday.

4.If your child is on the roundabout and you're not pushing, I'm not pushing. Even if my kid has to sit there, completely stationary.

5.Toddlers are either about to fall over, have just fallen over or are in the process of falling over.

6.Nothing will make you feel more like a dad than spending 10 minutes of Christmas Eve swearing in the loft.

7.If you don’t put washing on on Xmas Day the whole system is fucked.

8.If your twins instantly start fighting over a present you know it's a hit.

9.The Quality Street disappeared by Boxing Day because they’re half the size they used to be. And we’re now twice the size.

10.The Cbeebies NYE party was probably like Ibiza 1988 compared to what we did.

(I'm a stand up comic and dad to toddler twins...I post my parenting blog on my FB page...)

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Unknown said…
I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart
which I want to share with everyone. My name is Caroline Webb from United
States. I had a misunderstanding with my lover last year which led us to
break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful
woman which he find more prettier than me, but as time went on I met god Dr lucky He is a great spell caster. I contacted him through his email and
explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover
will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness before 24
hours.My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on
his knees begging for forgiveness, and today we are happy and he also cured
my Sister's breast cancer. Do you have any problem? worry no more because
Dr lucky can provide lasting spell solution to any problems:email him Dr luckysolutiontemple@gmail.com or call him +23480139792383 or add him on whats- app +23480139792383

If you want your ex back.

You want to be promoted in your office.

If you want to be cured of HIV, Cancers and other diseases.

You want to be rich.

You want your husband/wife to be yours forever.

If you need financial assistance.

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