MONDAY Hottest day of the year so Daddy left my rancid nappy in the car all day with the windows closed. Mummy opened the door and had to fight back tears as we were hit with a stench so unspeakably foul that many insurance brokers would have considered the vehicle a complete write-off. Daddy remarked how the car had become ‘a giant Dutch oven’ which has totally put me off visiting the Netherlands. TUESDAY Gonna set up a Trip Advisor site for baby change facilities. Some of those places need a good old fashioned rinsing - primarily with hot water, but also via angry, misspelt online comments. WEDNESDAY I’ve been told to prepare for potty training. They’ve been told to prepare to play fecal hopscotch across the kitchen every morning. THURSDAY Curled one out into the potty and everyone cheered. The big-match atmosphere inspired me to jump up and bend straight over for cleaning but I got my angles wrong like a goalie who’s misjudged a corner and somehow managed to