I’ve been in loads of pukey situations in my life – lads holidays, rugby tours, choppy boat trips. I even once watched a Celine Dion DVD. But I have never experienced a variety of puking as diverse as since my twins were born. 1.The Seagull They’ve only just fed but you can’t resist holding them aloft like Superman. It’s so cute! Until on the third swoop they vomit like a drain all over your face. You’re an idiot and you deserve every drop. 2.The Snail Trail Moves down your back slower than a Child Benefit back-payment, leaving a nasty stream behind it. Normally starts on your shoulder and can end anywhere as low as your calf or ankle. 3.The Low Blow Puke all over your crotch. Easily the worst place to have a visible stain so you can guarantee this will only happen in Starbucks. 4.The Fangs Two dribbles, one each side of the mouth. You feed them. You look away. You look back and they’ve turned into baby Dracula. 5.The Beppe Similar to The Fangs but with a