1. Leaving the house on time is harder than Chinese algebra.
2. A hot cup of coffee is something I used to drink.
3. An ‘epic’ lie-in as a dad means getting up at 8.30am.
4. The Gruffalo’s Child is the best sequel since The Godfather Part II.
5. ‘Has this got poo on it?’ is now the most popular question in our house.
6. Changing rancid nappies is a great way to stop biting your nails.
7. Your childless male friends don’t want to hear in depth stories about your son’s first smile.
8. It’s possible to be so tired that you feel sick.
9. Eating half a pack of biscuits for breakfast every day for a month makes you fat.
10. Having another parent tell you their babies ‘sleep right through’ does not enhance your day.
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