MONDAY
It really boils my piss when the Big People laugh at my
tantrums. I know to them it probably appears that I’m just losing my shit at
every possible opportunity but they must understand, different things matter to
me. I’m not an adult. I don’t have a career or a mortgage. My teeth are killing
and my only proper friends are my relatives so when you sing the wrong verse to
Old McDonald it totally feels like the end of the world to me.
TUESDAY
Watched a brilliant video on Mummy’s phone of some kids
dancing into their Daddy’s room when he was having a meeting. If my Daddy ever
has a conversation anywhere near that important I’m definitely going to do the
same. Those kids are an inspiration.
WEDNESDAY
Went to the park but they wouldn’t let me off those stupid
reins. Kept telling me it was just my special ‘Big Boy Bag’ I had to wear. What
kind of bag has a big fuck-off lead attached to it? I’m not stupid you know.
And anyway, I only wanted to run down the hill and across the busy road so I
could dive in the lake. It’s perfectly safe. I saw a little dog in the same
position who looked equally pissed off. We shared a moment but then he licked
my head and I started crying.
THURSDAY
Discovered the word ‘no’ today. (Also known as NO! or
noooooOOOOO!) Total game changer. Maybe I’m late to the party but it’s so
flexible. You can literally apply it to any situation and it totally works,
even when you actually mean yes. I love it that much I even woke up in the
middle of the night randomly shouting it for absolutely no reason.
FRIDAY
Big People keep telling me to be careful all the time. ‘Be
careful near that table!’ ‘Be careful with that spoon!’ I’M A TODDLER. I AM
BEING CAREFUL. It just so happens that I don’t actually give a fuck.
SATURDAY
Went to a disco with a bunch of other kneehighs. A six foot
tall, spotty squirrel was DJing and then hugging everyone. I stayed the frig
away from that thing. To be honest, I’m not even sure it was a real squirrel.
She was wearing trainers.
SUNDAY
Chicken Pox. Must have caught it off that squirrel. Bastard.
I post a new 'Secret Diary' to my FB page every
Tuesday...I'm a stand up comic and dad to toddler twins...I'm also on Instagram...
Comments
Thank you for reading my message.
BEST REGARD
This write up is a testimony of a spell caster i met while searching for spell casters who would help me get my ex Husband back to me and i am very happy to say that my ex Husband is back to me and is presently my husband. My name is Janet Rothschild and i am currently married to Jude Rothschild. Jude my Husband and we loved each other so much but my parents was against us seeing each other. We had a misunderstanding which was caused by family feud and we broke up but my love for him didn't leave me because he was my first love. I then contacted Doctor BEN to please help me get him back. I am happy today that my ex Husband is now with me. This is all thanks to Doctor BEN and i want all of you who needs help to seek help from this spell caster and your problem would be solved. Contact his email for help at voodoospelltemple80@gmail.com voodoospelltemple80@yahoo.com or call him on +2348133364240
Thank you for reading my message.
BEST REGARD
My name is Anass Paris from England, My husband and I have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested Dr.BEN can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again. Dr.BEN is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you.
Here’s his contact: Email him at: benherbaltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on whats-app: +1(310)-220-0075. His website: http://benherbaltemple.webs.com .
I'm so excited. I cant believe it! Dr.BEN your love spell casting really worked! My ex-husband is back after he left me and the kids, he sent me an SMS last night, wanting us to get back together again...and here we are! Yes, I’m extremely happy that we are living together again.
My name is Anass Paris from England, My husband and I have been married for about 6yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago, I started to notice some strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else. He started coming home late from work, he hardly care about me or the kids anymore, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come back home for about 2-3 days. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested Dr.BEN can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again. Dr.BEN is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you.
Here’s his contact: Email him at: benherbaltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on whats-app: +1(310)-220-0075. His website: http://benherbaltemple.webs.com .
which I want to share with everyone. My name is Caroline Webb from United
States. I had a misunderstanding with my lover last year which led us to
break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful
woman which he find more prettier than me, but as time went on I met god Dr lucky He is a great spell caster. I contacted him through his email and
explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover
will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness before 24
hours.My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on
his knees begging for forgiveness, and today we are happy and he also cured
my Sister's breast cancer. Do you have any problem? worry no more because
Dr lucky can provide lasting spell solution to any problems:email him Dr luckysolutiontemple@gmail.com or call him +23480139792383 or add him on whats- app +23480139792383
If you want your ex back.
You want to be promoted in your office.
If you want to be cured of HIV, Cancers and other diseases.
You want to be rich.
You want your husband/wife to be yours forever.
If you need financial assistance.
I am Michelle from San Francisco. i want to testify about powerful Dr keke Odin for saving my relationship.I must be one of the few who don’t have a trouble showing and telling someone how grateful I am for making my relationship a melodious and smooth relationship. I have been trying to be more positive about my relationship with my boyfriend, it seems like it has taken forever. Another lady took my Fiancee away from me and they both relocated. i cried and searched for him to come back but he refused to take my calls nor return my messages. My friend introduced me to a powerful spell caster called Dr Keke Odin who helped me cast a very powerful love spell that brought back my Fiancee in 24 hours. i was amazed and surprised when my fiancee called to beg me for forgiveness all because of the powerful love spell of Dr Keke Odin. dont fail to Contact Dr Keke through the following means if you have any Marrital or Relationship problem. his contact information are
Email: greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com
Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876
website: http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com
I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored and my Wife is back after a breakup, After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until she finally left me and moved to California to be with another man. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their mother again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my Wife. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr OBILUJESU can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my Wife really called me and told me that she miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for her mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr OBILUJESU. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr. OBILUJESU real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband/wife moved to another woman/man, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: drobilujesuspellcaster@gmail.com or drobilujesuspellcaster@yahoo.com , VIA: webs;; http://drobilujesuspellcaster.webs.com/
you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348143481000 ,
Dwan Scott, 34 years, Texas, USA..
Hey guys, get your ex back fast with the help of a real and genuine spell caster called (Dr.OBILUJESU). email him @ drobilujesuspellcaster@yahoo.com
I'm so excited my broken Marriage has been restored and my Wife is back after a breakup, After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until she finally left me and moved to California to be with another man. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their mother again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my Wife. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr OBILUJESU can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my Wife really called me and told me that she miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for her mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr OBILUJESU. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr. OBILUJESU real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband/wife moved to another woman/man, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: drobilujesuspellcaster@gmail.com or drobilujesuspellcaster@yahoo.com , VIA: webs;; http://drobilujesuspellcaster.webs.com/
you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348143481000 ,
Dwan Scott, 34 years, Texas, USA..