5 Things I Learned as a Parent This Week (#47)

1.If you're not careful, a day of relaxed nothingness without the kids can easily morph into a 3 hour blitz of the house and a visit to the tip.

2.There's nothing weird about getting poo on my hand anymore. Which is weird in itself.

3.My new motto is 'Ah, fuck it. That'll do."

4.I'll never understand the tastebuds of a toddler: my son will eat coal but refuses chicken.

5.Our house smells like a condemned pet shop.

Finally, the highlight of my week was definitely this:

Twin 1 cries.

Twin 2 crawls to other side of room, retrieves dummy, gives to his brother.

Twin 1 settles.

Daddy gets something in his eye...

I'm a stand up comic and dad of twins. You can follow my parenting blog on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or sign up to get each new blog via email on the right hand column of my website. I also release a weekly podcast where I chat to fellow parents about what they've learned.