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10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week (#30)

1.Parenthood is a crafty bastard - the second you master something it changes the game so you're shit at it again.

2.There's more chance of a Rabbi eating bacon than a baby eating something they loved yesterday but have already decided they hate today for NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER.

3.A really bad nappy change can leave you emotionally scarred.

4.Over time, enough dried Weetabix on the floor makes your kitchen look like it's been cobbled.

5.The most heartbreaking part of leaving your baby at nursery is paying the bill.

6.Playing 'pass the dummy' with your son directly into your mouth is both beautiful and absolutely disgusting.

7.Your baby deciding to shit in instalments means on that particular day, there are no winners.

8.A nap in my car at a motorway services is the closest I'll get to a spa break.

9.Nothing on the planet is as fearless as a baby that's just learned to crawl. Our house is currently like mini-Jackass.

10.And that look on their face as they crawl towards you - a weird mix of confusion, pride, concentration and joy - that will never get old.

I'm a finalist in the MAD Blog Awards 2016 and you can vote for me in both 'Best New Blog' and 'Best Baby Blog' categories - if you have 30 seconds to spare click here and I'll be your best mate for life.
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28 October 2016 at 05:09
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