Skip to main content

5 Things I Learned as a Parent This Week (#38)

1.The most annoying part of the daily tidy-up is doing all the fucking jigsaws.

2.Buying suede shoes as a parent is as optimistic as a bull farmer opening a China shop next to his stables.

3.You don't need the gym when you can just push a pram with a flat tyre up a hill with a baby while holding a brolly in the wind.

4.When hurriedly bringing your baby into your bed at 5.30am you should really check first if they're crying because they've shat everywhere.

5.I used to think Father's Day was a load of commercial toss but after that lie-in this morning I'm now a fervant supporter.

(My guest on this week's '5 Things I Learned' podcast is BBC 6 Music presenter and son of the legendary John Peel, Tom Ravenscroft. You can find it here: or go to the right hand column of my site.)

Comments

Hace unos años visité mi primer evento olímpico en Sochi, Rusia, con Omega para apreciar la importancia del evento global en términos de reunir a la gente, así como el papel impactante que Omega juega como el cronometrador replicas relojes oficial - un papel que tienen Celebrada desde 1932, cuando los primeros Juegos Olímpicos modernos se celebró en Los Ángeles. Al ver la ceremonia de apertura y algunos de los eventos de la competición olímpica en Río de Janeiro y experimentar la impresionante naturaleza del evento profundamente emocional, sigo entusiasmado con la participación de Omega Replica. Los juegos, después de todo, están entre las últimas formas de replicas omega competencia sana entre las naciones del mundo, y aunque está diseñado para tener tanto ganadores como perdedores, nadie que participa en él pierde la oportunidad de salvar las brechas perceptivas y encontrar las similitudes culturales .

Popular posts from this blog

The Time I Screamed at my Kids

Before my kids arrived I swore I’d never shout at them. But choosing how to approach parenthood before your kids are born is like a caterpillar deciding what kind of butterfly they’re gonna be while they’re still building the cocoon. ‘I’ll still do loads of charity work, of course. And I’ll be REALLY nice to moths too, even though they’ll probably hate me because I’ll be so bloody gorgeous.’ Theory and reality are like sugar and shit. I’ve raised my voice to my kids more times than I can count. Often just to shout ‘STOP SHOUTING!’ which I’m aware doesn’t set a great example. ‘You should NEVER shout at your kids.’ And that’s fine. In theory. Because everything’s fine in theory. The Slimfast diet is a piece of piss until day two when you’ve had three hours sleep and someone offers you a Wagon Wheel. Of course, I never WANT to shout at them. I love them more than words can describe. But those you love are also the ones blessed with the innate ability to boil your piss q

We Have a Winner!

Ladies and gentlemen - some news! One recipient of my newsletter is now the 'lucky' (ahem) winner of an exclusive gig from me IN THEIR HOUSE! And that person is... Lyn Morter!  Well done, Lyn! (Btw, if anyone from  Ofcom  is reading, you can check the legitimacy of this result via the  Facebook Live video  I did last week.) When I informed Lyn that she'd won she simply said, 'I've never heard of you' and 'How did you get my phone number?' so I'm sure that will be a great gig for everyone. (Only joking. She was thrilled.) Thanks to all of you for entering. But what now, Sam?  I hear you screaming at your smartphones. Well, I'll be taking things a wee bit easier through August, spending some much needed time with my family after all the touring. But just like that former Governor of California of Austrian descent, I'LL BE BACK (sorry) in September with more blogs, videos and general waffle.  I'm also heading b

10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week (#29)

1.I cannot believe I EVER complained about being tired pre-kids. 2.That moment when you think there's something seriously wrong with your baby but quickly realise they're just having a massive shite. Ridiculous. 3.The key to cleaning Weetabix off the floor is not to leave it for 10 days. 4.I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact my next lie in will be in 2026. 5.I can recite all the words to The Furchester Hotel yet struggle remembering my own PIN number. 6.They should make talking baby toys swear. Just once or twice a year to keep us interested. 7.I could pick out the noise of a dummy hitting the floor in the middle of an earthquake. 8.Putting shoes on a baby will make you twice as late. 9.I could shave a chimp with ADHD quicker than I can dress my son. 10.Only if they ever make me a grandad will my boys truly understand how much I love them. I'm a finalist in the MAD Blog Awards 2016 and you can vote for me in both '