Skip to main content

10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week #27

1.Nothing will shit you up like hearing SUDDEN silence from the room the kids are in.

2.I'd rather be trapped in a lift with Katie Hopkins than go to Asda on a Saturday afternoon with a double buggy. Hell on Earth.

3.The period when your baby suddenly becomes mobile but you haven't childproofed anything yet is terrifying.

4.Nothing makes you feel more like a dad than going the tip on a Saturday.

5.If my lads and their Weetabix would've been on the Titanic they could've fixed the leak, easy.

6.Our house is never more than 3 minutes away from total carnage.

7.A soft play area, miles from home, is no place to be when your son has leaked and you've forgotten the wipes.

8.A baby will consider you leaving the room without them on a par with war crimes.

9.Whoever let Postman Pat fly a fucking plane this week should be shot in the face.

10.Hearing the twins happily babbling to each other makes everything else in the world seem completely insignificant.

(If you've enjoyed any of my blogs over the last year I'd be so chuffed if you'd vote for me in the MAD Blog Awards 2016 - it'll take you about 30 seconds and all the details are here. Thanks!)

Comments

marta larkin said…
A standout amongst the most imperative things that you ought to learn as a guardian is the manner by which to comprehend your youngster. You have to realize that your kid has a one of a kind identity that will stay for whatever is left of his or her life. By watching your kid as they play, eat or even rest you can get a comprehension of your youngster and the creating identity.

Popular posts from this blog

3 y/o kicks me in balls...

3 y/o kicks me in balls I fall to ground He offers to kiss it better I politely decline He gets upset I explain nuance of appropriate behaviour while writhing around in total agony Wife arrives I ask her to kiss it better She declines with fury Will cherish these family memories  šŸ’—

TOUR ANXIETY DREAMS

Had my first anxiety dream about the tour last night - despite everyone having tickets nobody turned up because there was a national babysitters strike... šŸ˜‚   (I had no pants on either but that’s standard for anxiety dreams isn’t it, guys? Guys?) So please do ensure you book a non-unionised babysitter before getting your tickets here:  bit.ly/LearnerParentTour Tour starts in October and runs through till next March. Can’t wait to see some of you there.  šŸ‘ šŸ¤“