MONDAY
Refused to
take my nap today - was convinced something amazing was going to happen and
didn’t want to miss it. Nothing happened. Got annoyed.
TUESDAY
My food
arrived but they didn’t feed me for ages. They kept shouting a lot and blowing
on it. I started to whinge so the idiots gave me a tambourine. I wanted food,
not percussion.
WEDNESDAY
I cried for
ages last night so they put me into the big people’s bed which was well comfier
than my stupid cot. If that’s what happens when you cry I’ll definitely do that
again tonight.
THURSDAY
Tried to cry
myself into their bed again but they stood firm. Cried harder than ever but in
the end gave up and had a really lovely sleep actually.
FRIDAY
Teeth were
hurting me today. Why do people think I want to see them pull funny faces when
I’m crying? They’ve got no idea what I’m going through.
SATURDAY
Felt a bit
sad today but then did a poo that took lots of effort and then I felt dead
happy. Made sure I locked eyes with a big person while I was doing it. I think
it freaks them out.
SUNDAY
I’m glad I’m
not a big person. They always seem so tired. They should sleep more. Sleep is
brilliant.
(To be
continued...)
I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. You can click here to follow me on Facebook where I post all my blogs, memes and other blatherings about parenthood. (Or go to the top right of this page)
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