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The Secret Diary of a 6 Month Old (Part 4)


MONDAY
Refused to take my nap today - was convinced something amazing was going to happen and didn’t want to miss it. Nothing happened. Got annoyed.

TUESDAY
My food arrived but they didn’t feed me for ages. They kept shouting a lot and blowing on it. I started to whinge so the idiots gave me a tambourine. I wanted food, not percussion.

WEDNESDAY
I cried for ages last night so they put me into the big people’s bed which was well comfier than my stupid cot. If that’s what happens when you cry I’ll definitely do that again tonight.

THURSDAY
Tried to cry myself into their bed again but they stood firm. Cried harder than ever but in the end gave up and had a really lovely sleep actually.

FRIDAY
Teeth were hurting me today. Why do people think I want to see them pull funny faces when I’m crying? They’ve got no idea what I’m going through.

SATURDAY
Felt a bit sad today but then did a poo that took lots of effort and then I felt dead happy. Made sure I locked eyes with a big person while I was doing it. I think it freaks them out.

SUNDAY
I’m glad I’m not a big person. They always seem so tired. They should sleep more. Sleep is brilliant.

(To be continued...)

I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. You can click here to follow me on Facebook where I post all my blogs, memes and other blatherings about parenthood. (Or go to the top right of this page) 

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