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10 Things I Learned as a Parent This Week (#41)

1.The first time you discover your toddler can climb the stairs is TERRIFYING.

2.I've set my alarm tone for 'Celebrate' by Kool and the Gang because if I EVER hear it again it will be cause for a fucking party.

3.Changing sheets the same day that your child pissed on them is nothing to be proud of. (But sadly, I am.)

4.Baby gates are great and all but they can be right pricks sometimes.

5.I'm now scared to flush the toilet after 7pm.

6.Few things in life are as funny as a baby noisily filling their nappy, staring you in the eye and laughing.

7.I've yet to see a bad episode of Hey Duggie.

8.Turns out it wasn't worth spending 20 minutes changing the batteries of that toy the kids are now fucking petrified of.

9.Babies don't realise the louder they protest the more it convinces us they DEFINITELY need a nap.

10.I saw a dummy on the street on Tuesday and went to pick the frigging thing up out of habit. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

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