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The Secret Diary of a 14 Month Old (Part 20)

MONDAY
Cried at dinner. No way was I putting that muck in my mouth. No chance. Then they tricked me into tasting a bit and do you know what? Fucking lovely it was. So tasty I screamed when there was none left.

TUESDAY
Needed a poo all day but managed to save it till bathtime. Absolute carnage. It's worth sitting in your own filth just to see the look on their faces.

WEDNESDAY
Fell over today. Didn't hurt in the slightest but big people made a fuss so thought I'd better cry.

THURSDAY
Woke up in my cot last night standing up, crying. Not sure what I was trying to achieve. Pretty embarrassing all round really.

FRIDAY
Finally getting the hang of this crawling lark. I can go anywhere. It's amazing.

SATURDAY
Crawled off a step today, right into the bins. Fucking terrible. My hands were still trying to crawl as I was falling. Not sure this mode of transport is for me. Might have a go at that bum shuffling thing. Looks safer.

SUNDAY
Went to a party but cried till we left early. Laughed all the way home. Nobody else joined in.

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