1.If we didn't occasionally have visitors I doubt we'd ever clean our house.
2.My son is currently waking up half an hour earlier each day. At this rate by next week he'll be getting up before he goes to bed.
3.Everytime I go to put the Vanish away I think, "Nah, frig it. I'll need it again in a minute."
4.My kids have started laughing at furniture. Might take them to IKEA and blow their minds.
5.Pulling a weird face does absolutely fuck all to reduce the volume of squeaky floorboards.
(My guest on this week's parenting podcast is comedian, mum of two and star of Have I Got News for You & Mock The Week amongst others - the very funny Lucy Porter. Get it on iTunes now)