Skip to main content

Having Kids Is Easy...

Having kids is easy. 

All you have to do is feed them, change them, keep them safe, teach them right from wrong, educate them on manners, ensure they're polite, pay for everything, teach them how to talk, help them with homework, help them move out, cover their university fees, help them move back in, pay for their wedding, approve of their spouse and bite your lip when they make terrible life choices. And after all that, you'll probably have to look after THEIR kids a bit. 

Piece of piss..

I've started a parenting podcast called '5 Things I Learned' and you can get it on iTunes here...
Labels:

Comments

Jie Janet said…

This is really very useful information that I have come across through searching the keyword watch replicas for sale
14 November 2016 at 08:54
replica said…
The Oris Aquis Date can be regarded as the starter piece in the brand's popular Aquis line of contemporary divers' watches, which boasts such innovative models as the Aquis Depth Gauge Replica Watches and a new chronograph model released at this year's Baselworld. This one also has an attractive blue dial, along with Super-LumiNova-filled indices and hands and an unobtrusive date window at 6 o'clock. The stainless steel Replica Breitling case measures 43 mm in diameter and features a screw-down crown and a unidirectional diving bezel with a ceramic top ring for the minutes scale. It's got a nonreflective sapphire crystal in the front and a Cartier Replica see-through mineral glass window in the screwed caseback, offering a view of the automatic movement, which is equipped with a date corrector and a stop-seconds function, and, like all Oris movements, the Replica Rolex Watches hallmark red winding rotor that swings in both directions. The Oris Aquis Date comes on a stainless steel bracelet with a security folding clasp and divers' extension.
16 February 2017 at 08:04
replica horloges online said…
lees dan eerst deze handleiding om te . check dan imitatie horloges heren eerst of hier replica's van worden imitatie horloges gebouwd en houd die .? Imitatie Horloges Kopen Vollanalog Replica horloges!
26 April 2017 at 10:23
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Time I Screamed at my Kids

Before my kids arrived I swore I’d never shout at them. But choosing how to approach parenthood before your kids are born is like a caterpillar deciding what kind of butterfly they’re gonna be while they’re still building the cocoon. ‘I’ll still do loads of charity work, of course. And I’ll be REALLY nice to moths too, even though they’ll probably hate me because I’ll be so bloody gorgeous.’ Theory and reality are like sugar and shit. I’ve raised my voice to my kids more times than I can count. Often just to shout ‘STOP SHOUTING!’ which I’m aware doesn’t set a great example. ‘You should NEVER shout at your kids.’ And that’s fine. In theory. Because everything’s fine in theory. The Slimfast diet is a piece of piss until day two when you’ve had three hours sleep and someone offers you a Wagon Wheel. Of course, I never WANT to shout at them. I love them more than words can describe. But those you love are also the ones blessed with the innate ability to boil your piss q
Post a Comment
Read more

The Time I Smeared Shit on the Duvet

My wife and I developed our parenting systems through trial and error. One of the earliest rules we’d introduced was that if it was after 5am and one of the babies became unsettled, we wouldn’t waste our time trying to get them back down in their cot - we’d just bring them in with us. After a nice cuddle in our bed, they’d normally settle back down, barring the occasional impromptu fanny gouge or affable bollock kick. (Babies are the most violent sleepers on the planet, easily capable of committing GBH in the middle of reaching for their dummy.) Our twins were six months old. I was fast asleep. At least, the deepest sleep you can get once your kids arrive. My pre-kids sleep used to be the nocturnal equivalent of deep sea diving. Nowadays I’m lucky if I can submerge my toes in a puddle. Early on, my sleep was lighter than a Ryvita biscuit who’d been having it off with a helium canister they’d met on Tinder. Everything woke me up. Some nights I’d just lie there, bewi
Post a Comment
Read more

We Have a Winner!

Ladies and gentlemen - some news! One recipient of my newsletter is now the 'lucky' (ahem) winner of an exclusive gig from me IN THEIR HOUSE! And that person is... Lyn Morter!  Well done, Lyn! (Btw, if anyone from  Ofcom  is reading, you can check the legitimacy of this result via the  Facebook Live video  I did last week.) When I informed Lyn that she'd won she simply said, 'I've never heard of you' and 'How did you get my phone number?' so I'm sure that will be a great gig for everyone. (Only joking. She was thrilled.) Thanks to all of you for entering. But what now, Sam?  I hear you screaming at your smartphones. Well, I'll be taking things a wee bit easier through August, spending some much needed time with my family after all the touring. But just like that former Governor of California of Austrian descent, I'LL BE BACK (sorry) in September with more blogs, videos and general waffle.  I'm also heading b
Post a Comment
Read more