The Secret Diary of an 8 Month Old (Part 11)

MONDAY

One of my fingers seems to have disappeared from my hand and popped up between my legs. I've tried pulling it back but it won't budge. Will try again tomorrow.

TUESDAY

I stored some food in my neck ages ago and now I can't find it. I know it's there because it's starting to stink.

WEDNESDAY

Pulled on that rogue finger again but it seems happy where it is. Beginning to think the big people moved it there because they freak out whenever I try to move it back.

THURSDAY

Met another baby today. Normally not fussed but liked this one. Made me feel a bit funny. Like when I've had milk and not burped.

FRIDAY

Today was a very snotty day. It was all over my face and in my mouth. I didn't mind though. If that was on a spoon I reckon I'd eat that stuff.

SATURDAY

Saw the other baby again today. We had a great wriggle and then threw up on each other. It was brill.

SUNDAY

Got shoved on the knee of this fat dude in a red suit today. His beard looked fake and his breath smelt like my neck. Cried my head off and the big people took a photo! I'll never understand this place.

To be continued...

I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. I post a new blog most days to my Facebook page which you can follow by clicking here.

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10 August 2016 at 07:30

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The Time I Got Sent to the Naughty Step

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Sam Avery

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