10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week (#14)

1.Planning all the stuff you're gonna get done while the baby naps BEFORE they're asleep is like deciding what to spend your lottery win on before you've bought a ticket.

2.We need the machine they use to jet wash the pigeon shit off the statues in Trafalgar Square just to clean our Jumperoo.

3.Singing a happy song is the only way to get through a really horrific nappy change.

4.Velcro bibs attack all the other washing in the machine like sticky parasitic bastards.

5.My 8 month old boys often gaze at the lounge lamp with the reverence of a pair of rednecks witnessing a flying saucer.

6.Babies can be more uncooperative than a supermarket trolley on cobbles.

7.On the wrong day, counting the milk formula scoops into the bottle is harder than following a free form jazz signature.

8.After bedtime the nursery floor creaks like a listed building.

9.Babies need more clothes than Madonna - they'll never stop finding new and inventive ways to soil them.

10.Watching your little one return to their smiley self after battling a bad cold for a week is pure magic.

I'm a stand up comic and dad of twins. Follow my blog on Facebook here.

Comments

Monica Castello said…

It can take up to forty minutes to clean bottles this way. all the same, this method really to steal the expression when you find yourself in a situation where microwaving, boiling, or steaming your bottles isn't attainable before bottle feeding see more information.

5 February 2016 at 14:23

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