1.It’s a good job babies are cute because several aspects
of them are beyond gross.
2.My sons ‘poo stare’ becomes more disturbing by the day.
I’m sure he’s squeezing them out sideways.
3.The stench from a burst nappy bag will make you yearn for
the sweet aroma of an open sewer.
4.Crossing a busy road with a pram feels like a real life
game of Frogger.
5.Apparently to an 8 month old ‘go to sleep’ means ‘do a
James Brown impression for the next forty minutes.’
6.Some baby pukes have the force of an angry power shower.
7.Parenthood makes your personal standards plummet quicker
than a damp paper aeroplane.
8.You can be so tired your face droops like a novelty
candle.
9.My willpower towards food when I’m exhausted is weaker
than a field mouse with M.E.
10.Brushing your baby’s first tooth makes you realise with
a heavy heart that they really do grow up too fast.
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