Skip to main content

10 Things I've Learned as a NEW Parent in 2015

1.I've gained weight quicker than a sleeping bag in the rain.

2.Tidying up isn't a job you can finish - it's a constant work in progress.

3.Sleep is an old friend I've lost touch with.

4.Without coffee I am nothing.

5.When your baby laughs the world makes sense.

6.I've never been skydiving but I can't imagine that experience comes close to the exhilaration of getting both twins to nap simultaneously.

7.My personal standards are now lower than an earthworms arsecheek. I leave the house with stains on my pants most days.

8.Babies give you endless new material to write about but zero time to write it.

9.I'm proud of the NHS. On this day last year we received some heartbreaking news about one of our little boys at a routine pregnancy scan. Due to the diligent, professional and compassionate care we received from NHS staff we now have two healthy, happy babies a year later. Thank you.

10.I'm fucked if I'm staying up till midnight tonight.

Thanks for all your support in 2015 and I hope you all have a happy and healthy 2016 :)

Sam x


Jie Janet said…
Love reading your posts Sam, so funny and warm. replica longines

Popular posts from this blog

3 y/o kicks me in balls...

3 y/o kicks me in balls I fall to ground He offers to kiss it better I politely decline He gets upset I explain nuance of appropriate behaviour while writhing around in total agony Wife arrives I ask her to kiss it better She declines with fury Will cherish these family memories  šŸ’—


Had my first anxiety dream about the tour last night - despite everyone having tickets nobody turned up because there was a national babysitters strike... šŸ˜‚   (I had no pants on either but that’s standard for anxiety dreams isn’t it, guys? Guys?) So please do ensure you book a non-unionised babysitter before getting your tickets here: Tour starts in October and runs through till next March. Can’t wait to see some of you there.  šŸ‘ šŸ¤“