10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week (#8)

(Read #7 here)

1.Putting eye drops into a wriggling seven month old is harder than playing Jenga on the bus.

2.Just because a song from a toy is catchy doesn't mean it's good. Ebola is catchy.

3.Your kids being born is the best day of your life but getting a tumble dryer comes a very close second.

4.Wearing your wife's maternity pants 'as a joke' can open your mind to new experiences.

5.Traffic Wardens are not sympathetic to the plight of teething twins at home.

6.Teething Twins is a great name for a 1980's New Romantic band.

7.We need to clean between the sofa cushions more often. I found some baby sick so old it needed carbon dating.

8.Humming the Benny Hill theme during nap time gets your jobs done quicker.

9.Between dusk and dawn my foot becomes a magnet for squeaky floorboards.

10.Getting a baby to sleep when they're full of snot is tougher than a Wetherspoon's steak.

(Read #9 here)

I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. You can click here to follow me on Facebook where I post all my blogs, memes and other blatherings about parenthood. (Or go to the top right of this page)

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