1.When your baby cries because they’re tired it’s very
tempting to join in.
2.The next complete stranger to ask how my twins were
conceived is getting slapped.
3.Our laundry basket is like an endlessly erupting linen
volcano.
4.Your baby suddenly opening their eyes as you creep in to
kiss them goodnight is scarier than any horror movie villain.
5.Even hearing your child scream suddenly from the next
room still doesn’t make it any easier to stop a wee in full flow.
6.You know you’re tired when a sex scene comes on the TV
and you think, ‘ooh…that bed looks comfy...’
7.If burglars broke into our house I’d only notice when
they inevitably couldn’t find their way out of the mess and had to shout for
help.
8.My boys would rather have their bums wiped with sandpaper
than their faces cleaned with a wet wipe.
9.Small muslin cloths are less than pointless.
10.After writing several posts about your babies puking,
pooing and dribbling on your couch, it’s not advisable to then share a friend’s
Gumtree advert for their unrelated sofa as people will quite rightly assume
it’s yours and not fit for purpose.
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