10 Things I've Learned as a Parent This Week #6

1.People caught parking in the parent & child spaces without kids should be forced to do their weekly shop with teething triplets who haven't napped.

2.The sense of injustice felt by a near sleeping baby as they remove their own dummy is comparable only with false imprisonment.

3.My sons have got enough food in their neck folds for their own Harvest Festival.

4.The only people who benefit from the clocks going back are the people who don't need an extra hours sleep in the first place. Bastards.

5.Four ruined outfits in an hour means the day is officially a write-off, everything is cancelled and you should go back to bed. (Like that’s an option…)

6.If they made a Top Gear style show about prams I would definitely watch it.

7.When burping your baby in public it's always good to check there's nobody directly behind you. (And to the lady in the sheepskin coat in John Lewis, my sincere apologies.)

8.If you ever turn down the offer of a nap you will regret that decision till the day you die.

9.Dads who don't or won't change nappies are letting the side down. Man up.

10.Buying tampons (and only tampons) while shopping with the babies is a great time to bump into the lads from footy for the first time in ages.

(Read #7 here)

I'm a stand up comic and new dad to twins. You can click here to follow me on Facebook where I post all my blogs, memes and other blatherings about parenthood. (Or go to the top right of this page)

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